two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
