I didn't shave. On purpose
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
