I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
