He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
