Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
false alarm. still invincible.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize