Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
