If that was your dad, he is hot
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we're making bets on your personal life
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize