Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
handjob tips. give me some.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
