if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
