Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
