Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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