I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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