Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
