One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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