whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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