Acid is not a monday night drug
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
