Umm I'm too high to move.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
