Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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