I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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