Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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