Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
