wat bout pragnant strippers??
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
