I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
