I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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