i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
