Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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