VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
