After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
