Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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