so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
