i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
