legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
