Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
