like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
