sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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