If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
be right there i have to get my cape
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
