For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
