my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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