in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
