I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
