dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
