Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry brick33 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

Fav 1 1642 947
share tweet
(586): View more from Michigan

Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

Fav 15 1007 1403
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.

Fav 12 3385 872
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.

Fav 55 1569 5465
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

Fav 48 5530 1342
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

Fav 40 5269 1552
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

Fav 7 972 3356
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.

Fav 3 804 551
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.

Fav 0 28 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT