once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
