hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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