Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
