playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
