Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
