Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
