Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize