so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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