Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
