i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
