I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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