The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
