Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
