Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
