I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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