I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
