There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
