Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
