He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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