i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I did not marry a roomba.
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