billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize