Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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