I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
