well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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